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The author of this article is a long-time friend who is experiencing his second job transition in less than 12 months. Since I was preparing to speak with a local transition group, I asked him if he had any advice or suggestions I could share. This is what he sent.

Early on in my career as a commission-only sales rep, my wife and I learned to live beneath our means, probably the smartest thing we've ever done. The savings we accumulated have carried us through one 6-month transition, and they will be crucial again in this next transition. Reality is sometimes hard, and preparing for potential transition requires discipline, but I believe it is a necessity.

As a former business owner, one of the tasks I found most difficult was transitioning folks out of our company. I believe it is crucial to the people involved, and the relationships created, that employees maintain their dignity and honor through the process. Having been through an abrupt, unexpected transition last year, and with my current position due to end next month, I have observed that my views are not widely shared. To that end, I am sharing with you a few concrete steps on the path to the next opportunity:

1. Know or get an accurate assessment of your true skills and strengths. StrengthFinders (http://strengths.gallup.com/110659/Homepage.aspx) was a valuable resource for me, but you might prefer other resources to guide you through the process. Though some transition is triggered solely due to economic reasons, my experience shows that in many cases, people have been working outside their "gift" areas for years and do not understand the reasons for the frustration they have experienced. Emotional maturity is the key to moving into a role that is a good fit.

2. Be willing to adapt to a changing economic and technological climate. Stay as current as possible. One of the best things I learned while working as a major donor fund raiser was the importance of reading and staying current. Make sure you can hold up your end of a conversation about current events and topics of the day, along with the issues surrounding your profession. Time at the library is well spent.

3. Confront your reality. Simply put, do what you have to do to stay whole. No work is without honor. In this climate, it can be a requirement that we work a night shift at a grocery store. No amount of wishing will generate needed income. Sell the stuff, downsize the house if you can, but deal with your reality. Last summer, I did farm chores in exchange for my daughter's riding lessons. (I should point out that we do not own a horse.) The day I hit the ground bee nest was tough, but it was worth every bee sting to be personally productive and to provide her the joy that comes from being on horseback.

4. Keep your routine. Few things are more depressing than sitting around a quiet house waiting for the phone to ring. Do something physical to burn off the frustration. I keep my workouts, and this time of year provides me with numerous opportunities to swing a sledge hammer or tear up a garden.

5. Realize that friends care, but they have their own lives. Don't abuse friendships, but if you have a close friend willing to speak the truth to you, keep him or her close.

6. Work your network strategically. I keep 2 hours a day to work the phones and update notes. Beyond that, frustration begins to show and its time for a workout or hike. Be professional in each and every conversation. Stand up and smile when you talk, and when insecurity begins to creep into your voice, know it's time to shut down.

7. Work systematically. I keep an updated file with a top-ten opportunities list that changes as needed, complete with next steps and dates.

8. Along with that list, keep the old "pros and cons" for each potential position. If two suddenly become available, you'll need to be prepared to make a decision.

9. Know what boundaries you are not willing to cross. One boundary for me is relocation. While my strengths are in relationship building and executing strategies, sitting in the same office or cubicle every day is absolutely soul killing for me. This means that I am likely to (even happy to) travel, but to uproot my family and then get on an airplane and leave them alone makes no sense from my perspective, so I prefer not to relocate from our current home. There are very some specific circumstances under which I would consider relocation, but I know what they are before the first interview. If I am asked about relocation early in the process, I answer honestly, but I also offer alternative suggestions. For instance, I live within two hours of three major airports, and I am a three-hour train ride from Penn Station. For some companies, my location actually lowers travel expenses.

10. Pay attention to those strengths you have defined. Be honest with yourself about additional education you may need, and get it. When you go through the interview process pay attention when you notice things that remind you of the times in your career that you have been inspired. Also pay attention when you notice things that make you want to scream.

11. If you have children of the appropriate age, let them know what's going on. Don't bring them into your angst, but be honest. It is crucial that they see you pull through this process with dignity. They should also learn to negotiate difficult economic circumstances by participating and observing. Obviously, children should not be included in each and every discussion, but if lunch is now PB&J every day it's okay that they know why.

12. Keep friends who have nothing to do with your career.

13. A crucial lesson...Do not be defined by your career. Work in the 21st century can be a fleeting thing. Live for something bigger than yourself and your job. No review or downsizing should be permitted to determine your self worth.
14. Lastly...Remember these days. Keep a journal if you can. When you get to that place where you are the one making the unpleasant decision of asking someone to move on, do it with sensitivity and honor.